Ass-tasticy; was Streaks in Scan!

From: PhotoGecko Austin ^lt;[email protected]>
Date: 04/27/04-10:59:22 PM Z
Message-id: <>


I'm delighted to edify you, O Sage, on this one--having broad, as it
were, experience with ass-tasticy.

Simply put, Ass-tasticy is the seldom-documented, and less understood,
tendency of flatbed CCD and CMOS scanning devices to track unevenly
along the vertical axis when one sits upon the device while scanning.

Several theories have come to light regarding this phenomenon (exg.:
that the volume-to-weight-to-Inverse Square ratio of the
positive/negative image -- or SmAss'd, as some have coined it ((see
Eusebius, XXXLL.iii))-- subverts the random distribution of
particle-wave impulses in the cold light generation of non-curvature
sources/receptors), none of which have, sorry to say, found much merit
in practice.

Differently put, Ass-tasticy (although unproven and largely ignored) is
a force to be reckoned with.

Delighted to be of service,
John Campbell
PhotoGecko Studios & Gallery
1413 South First Street
Austin, Tx 78704

(512) 797-9375

On Tuesday, April 27, 2004, at 07:48 PM, Sandy King wrote:

> Jon wrote:
>> I have to do this with my $2500 quirky-as-hell Minolta SMP or the
>> results
>> are guaranteed to be ass-tastic.
> Pardon my ignorance, but what does ass-tastic mean?
> Have seen and heard a lot of variations on ass but you got me on this
> one.
> Sandy King
>> -Jon
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Jon Lybrook" <>
>> To: <>; <>
>> Sent: Monday, April 26, 2004 10:46 AM
>> Subject: streaks in scan
>>> Hi All,
>>> I'm scanning a 4x5 transparency at 48bit on the Epson 4870 Pro using
>> SilverFast,
>>> converting it to greyscale and am getting vertical streaks in the
>>> file.
>> The
>>> streaks aren't noticeable until I apply an adjustment curve or
>>> otherwise
>>> brighten the image. I've managed to minimize them by doing a
>>> multipass
>> scan,
>>> but they still exist. They are apparent in the file and on whatever
>> output
>>> device I send them to, so I know it's not a printer problem.
>>> Is this ugly artifact in the subtle black areas simply to be
>>> expected from
>> the
>>> flatbed scanners or is there something I'm doing wrong?
>>> Thanks,
>>> Jon
Received on Tue Apr 27 22:59:00 2004

This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.8 : 05/14/04-02:14:32 PM Z CST