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[ale] Fwd: The Microsoft TV Dinner



Warning! This post may be incompatible with some stomachs.

> MICROSOFT TV DINNER PRODUCT INSERT
> ----------------------------------
> You must first remove the plastic cover.  By doing so you agree to
> accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners.  You may not
> give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an
> infringement of Microsoft's rights).  You may, however, let others
> smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how
> good it is.
> If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven.
> Set the oven using these keystrokes:
> <\mstv.dinn.//08.5min at 50%heat//>.
> Then enter:
> <ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme>. >
> If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven
> will set itself and cook the dinner.
> Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your
> oven must be restarted.  This is a simple procedure.  Remove the
> dinner from the oven and enter:
> <ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again/again.crap>.  >
> This process may have to be repeated.  Try unplugging the microwave
> and then doing a cold reboot.  If this doesn't work, contact your
> hardware vendor.
> Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger
> than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of
> which are empty.  These are for future menu items.  If the tray is
> too large to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade your
> equipment.
> Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the
> chicken variety is currently produced.  If you want another variety,
> call Microsoft Help and they will explain that you really don't want
> another variety.  Microsoft Chicken is all you really need.
> Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of
> their chicken dinners.  Future releases will only be in the larger
> family size.  Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must
> be saved only in Microsoft approved packaging.
> Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98.  However,
> that version has yet to be released.  Users have permission to get
> thrilled in advance.
> Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the
> freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost.  This is a feature,
> not a bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.