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Cows as Pets

(Apologies to IJMC readers.. :-)

"To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. They are
harmless, they look nice, they dont need a box to crap in, they keep the
grass down, and they are so trusting and stupid that you can't help but
lose your heart to them. Where I live in Yorkshire, there's a herd of cows
down the lane. You can stand by the wall at any hour of the day or night,
and after a minute the cows will all waddle over and stand with you, much
too stupid to know what to do next, but happy just to be with you. They
will stand there all day, as far as I can tell, possibly till the end of
time. They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return.
They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can
kill them and eat them. Perfect." 
                          -Bill Bryson, "Neither Here nor There."