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RE: [mob] [Fwd: How to annoy the IRS]
I see an audit coming. :)
Dan
-----Original Message-----
From: Robbie Honerkamp [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, April 15, 2005 4:46 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [mob] [Fwd: How to annoy the IRS]
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: How to annoy the IRS
Date: Fri, 15 Apr 2005 13:30:50 -0700
From: glen mccready <[email protected]>
To: 0xdeadbeef <[email protected]>
HOW TO ANNOY THE IRS
(Without Getting In Trouble!)
Well, it's tax time again, boys and girls. So cough it up if you haven't
already! But no one says you have to go gentle into that dark night.
Here are
some hints on how to annoy the IRS if you owe them money...
1. Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them
down
the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the
envelopes
have to take out any staples on the right side.
2. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right
way.
Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all
your
staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side).
3. Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry
before
you put in you forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and
the
extractor has to open it by hand.
4. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, use a two or three
party
check. On top of paying with a third party check, pay one of the dollars
you
owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an
amount,
s/he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
5. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be
read
and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.
6. Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on
the
back of a Kroger sack.
7. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a
single EZ
form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular
business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take
priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your
mess.
8. If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your unsightly
envelope to
your half destroyed form.
9. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or
the
like have to be removed and put away.
10. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to be
verified and
then date stamped.
These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with the
IRS.
These methods are *only* recommended when you owe money.
--
Because it destroys the flow of conversation.
> Why shouldn't I top quote in email?