[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

BOUNCE geeks@lists.shorty.com: Approval required:

Received: (qmail 15928 invoked from network); 10 Nov 1998 04:31:45 -0000
Received: from ns1.techinter.com (root@
  by itchy.shorty.com with SMTP; 10 Nov 1998 04:31:45 -0000
Received: from wingate (CHI-262.TECHINTER.COM [])
	by ns1.techinter.com (8.8.6/8.8.7) with SMTP id WAA18761
	for <geeks@shorty.com>; Mon, 9 Nov 1998 22:31:15 -0600
Message-Id: <199811100431.WAA18761@ns1.techinter.com>
From: "Ken Schumacher" <n9kju@amsat.org>
To: geeks@shorty.com
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1998 22:31:44 -0600
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT
Subject: Windows/Cars
Priority: normal
X-mailer: Pegasus Mail for Win32 (v3.01a)

At a recent computer expo., Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated:

   "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

   In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release

   If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:

   1. For unknown reasons, your car would crash twice per day.

   2. Every road repainting would require purchase of new car.

   3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and
you would just adjust, accept, restart and drive on.

   4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would 
have to reinstall the engine.

   5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
"Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

   6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five 
per cent of the roads.

   7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

   8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size gluteus
maximus, so pity the small or the large.

   9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before deploying.

   10. Occasionally, for no reason, your car would lock you out refusing
to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the 
key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

   11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they 
neither need them nor want them.  Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or
more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice 

   12. Each time GM introduced a new model, car buyers must learn how to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same 
manner as those in the old car.

   13. You'd press the "start" button to shut the car down.

Ken Schumacher, CM, ADL, Cub Scout Pack 335, Wheaton, IL
mailto:n9kju@amsat.org               Three Fires Council
Cub Scout Pack 335: http://www.pobox.com/~pack335    <><