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Hmm...



Now here's an interesting story of questionable validity.



===================================================
TOKYO (AP) The recent craze for hydrogen beer is at the heart
of a three way lawsuit between unemployed stockbroker Toshira
Otoma, the Tike-Take karaoke bar and the Asaka Beer Corporation.
Mr Otoma is suing the bar and the brewery for selling toxic substances
and is claiming damages for grievous bodily harm leading to the loss
of his job. The bar is countersuing for defamation and loss of customers.

The Asaka Beer corporation brews "Suiso" brand beer, where the carbon
dioxide normally used to add fizz has been replaced by the more
environmentally friendly hydrogen gas. A side effect of this has made
the beer extremely popular at karaoke sing-along bars and discotheques.

Hydrogen, like helium, is a gas lighter than air. Because hydrogen
molecules are lighter than air, sound waves are transmitted more
rapidly; individuals whose lungs are filled with the nontoxic gas can
speak with an uncharacteristically high voice. Exploiting this quirk of
physics, chic urbanites can now sing soprano parts on karaoke sing-along
machines after consuming a big gulp of Suiso beer.

The flammable nature of hydrogen has also become another selling point,
even though Asaka has not acknowledged that this was a deliberate
marketing ploy.

It has inspired a new fashion of blowing flames from one's mouth using a
cigarette as an ignition source. Many new karaoke videos feature singers
shooting blue flames in slow motion, while flame contests take place in
pubs everywhere. "Mr Otoma has no-one to blame but himself.  If he had not
become drunk and disorderly, none of this would have happened.  Our
security guards undergo the most careful screening and training before
they are allowed to deal with customers" said Mr Takashi Nomura, Manager of
theTike-Take bar.

"Mr Otoma drank fifteen bottles of hydrogen beer in order to maximise
the size of the flames he could belch during the contest. He catapulted
balls of fire across the room that Gojira would be proud of, but this was
not enough to win him first prize since the judgement is made on the
quality of the flames and that of the singing, and after fifteen bottles
of lager he was badly out of tune."

"He took exception to the result and hurled blue fireballs at the
judge, singeing the front of Mrs Mifune's hair, entirely removing her
eyebrows and lashes, and ruining the clothes of two nearby customers.
None of these people have returned to my bar. When our security staff
approached he turned his attentions to them, making it almost impossible
to approach him. Our head bouncer had no choice but to hurl himself at Mr
Otoma's knees, knocking his legs from under him."

"The laws of physics are not to be disobeyed, and the force that
propelled Mr Otoma's legs backwards also pivoted around his centre of
gravity and moved his upper body forward with equal velocity. It was his
own fault he had his mouth open for the next belch, his own fault he held
a lighted cigarette in front of it and it is own fault he swallowed that
cigarette."

"The Tike-Take bar takes no responsibility for the subsequent internal
combustion, rupture of his stomach lining, nor the third degree burns to
his oesophagus, larynx and sinuses as the exploding gases forced their
way out of his body. His consequential muteness and loss of employment are
his own fault."

Mr Otoma was unavailable for comment.