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Fraternity Core Values and Beliefs
Heather forwarded this to me, and I thought I'd pass it on. This about
sums up most of the frat folks I know.. :-)
Frat Guy Mission Statement
I'm a frat guy. I live in a frat house. I go to frat parties. I fight. I
especially like to fight independents. I think that if independents were
cool, they would have pledged a frat in the first place. I am exclusive
because I hate you.
I run dance marathons. I am the brains behind Spring Week. I buy my
friends. I joined a frat to feel accepted. I couldn't make friends when I
got to college, so I paid for them instead. I give more than $1,000 of my
parents money in social dues each year to promote my frats alcoholism
problem. I drink because I am cool. I drink a lot because I am cooler than
I haze my pledges. I make them eat sticks of butter. I make them drink
soy sauce. I make them clean my house naked. I make them wear womens
panties. I emotionally scar them for life. I abuse them physically until
they cry for mercy. I then call them wimps. I later call them my brothers
if they don't de-pledge along the way.
I am not an individual. I mimic the actions of my frat brothers. I drive
a sport utility vehicle. I wear brown Timberlands.
I believe that a girl gives up her right to say no if she is in my frat
house after 1:30 a.m. I am shady. I have no independent thought. I dress
just like my frat brothers. I act just like my frat brothers. I talk just
like my frat brothers. I strut just like my frat brothers.
I never study. I devise elaborate schemes to cheat on my exams. I don't
buy books. I have a low GPA. I am thankful that my frat buddies will get
me a job after graduation because I know that I can't get one on my own.
I show up drunk for interviews. I wear my letters. All of my T-shirts are
frat party T-shirts. I own one baseball hat. I live in my khakis. I beer
goggles on weekends. My frat letters are license to be a jerk.
I hide in the closet when my frat brothers hook up with girls. I think
gang rape is OK if the girl is asking for it.
I am loud and obnoxious where ever I go in public. I am twice as obnoxious
one-on-one. I live in filth. I enjoy the smell of old beer-in-carpet. I
can't clean up after myself. I rarely change my underwear. I don't care
what girls have to say. I only care about me.
I will say anything to get a girl in bed. I will say even more to get a
freshman girl in bed because I know she'll believe me. I serve alcohol to
minors. I urinate in public. I slip Rohypnol into unsuspecting girls
drinks at frat parties. I don't binge drink. I continually drink.
I am everything that is wrong with AMERICA . . . I am a frat guy.