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Fraternity Core Values and Beliefs

Heather forwarded this to me, and I thought I'd pass it on. This about
sums up most of the frat folks I know.. :-)



Frat Guy Mission Statement

I'm a frat guy. I live in a frat house.  I go to frat parties.  I fight.  I
especially like to fight independents. I think that if independents were
cool, they would have pledged a frat in the first place.  I am exclusive
because I hate you.

I run dance marathons.  I am the brains behind Spring Week.  I buy my
friends. I joined a frat to feel accepted.  I couldn't make friends when I
got to college, so I paid for them instead.  I give more than $1,000 of my
parents money in social dues each year to promote my frats alcoholism
problem. I drink because I am cool.  I drink a lot because I am cooler than

I haze my pledges.  I make them eat sticks of butter.  I make them drink
soy sauce.  I make them clean my house naked.  I make them wear womens
panties.  I emotionally scar them for life.  I abuse them physically until
they cry for mercy.  I then call them wimps.  I later call them my brothers
if they don't de-pledge along the way.

I am not an individual.  I mimic the actions of my frat brothers.  I drive
a sport utility vehicle.  I wear brown Timberlands.

I believe that a girl gives up her right to say no if she is in my frat
house after 1:30 a.m.  I am shady.  I have no independent thought.  I dress
just like my frat brothers.  I act just like my frat brothers.  I talk just
like my frat brothers.  I strut just like my frat brothers.

I never study.  I devise elaborate schemes to cheat on my exams.  I don't
buy books.  I have a low GPA.  I am thankful that my frat buddies will get
me a job after graduation because I know that I can't get one on my own.

I show up drunk for interviews.  I wear my letters.  All of my T-shirts are
frat party T-shirts.  I own one baseball hat.  I live in my khakis.  I beer
goggles on weekends.  My frat letters are license to be a jerk.

I hide in the closet when my frat brothers hook up with girls.  I think
gang rape is OK if the girl is asking for it.
I am loud and obnoxious where ever I go in public. I am twice as obnoxious
one-on-one.  I live in filth.  I enjoy the smell of old beer-in-carpet.  I
can't clean up after myself.  I rarely change my underwear.  I don't care
what girls have to say.  I only care about me.

I will say anything to get a girl in bed.  I will say even more to get a
freshman girl in bed because I know she'll believe me.  I serve alcohol to
minors.  I urinate in public.  I slip Rohypnol into unsuspecting girls
drinks at frat parties. I don't binge drink. I continually drink.

I am everything that is wrong with AMERICA . . . I am a frat guy.