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[mob] Monday morning Haikus

For your Monday morning commute to work..


From: Peter Fein
To: [email protected]
Date: Sun, 22 Jun 2003 23:48:56 -0500
Subject: [*CCM*] Carku's

Something to ease your Monday morning ride- with thanks to my friend Dan.

            The Top 20 Driving Haikus

 20> Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink
      Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink.
      Someday, you'll turn left.

 19> Lumbering monster.
      Imports scatter before me.
      Fear my Escalade!

 18> I'm in a hurry.
      You are driving too slowly.
      I must gesture now.

 17> It's always the same:
      "Next exit 84 miles"
      When I have to pee.

 16> Emits pollution
      And spews poison gases.  Car?
      No, it's John Rocker.

 15> Rearview mirror shows
      Highway patrol behind me.
      How many did I have?

 14> Wake up in ER.
      I was driving and reading,
      Then I heard a crash.

 13> Oooh, there's a Starbucks!
      Let's pull over and buy some
      Four-dollar coffee.

 12> H2 SUV.
      Traffic jam, gas tank on E.
      U R SOL.

 11> Run, pedestrian!
      I can't stop!  Jump that curb!... Damn.
      Bumpers are *not* cheap.

 10> An exact-change lane,
      And you've only brought Visa?
      Please, never leave home.

   9> Wheels are like mountains
      In your giant monster truck.
      Your schlong?  Still compact.

   8> Ponytailed boomer
      Doing thirty while singing
      "Life in the Fast Lane."

   7> Get off that cell phone!
      Safety dictates only *one*
      Driver's side air bag.

   6> Use the crosswalk, fool!
      I might not react in time!
      Well, those are the brakes.

   5> Self-important prick!
      Signal turns or you may find
      Baby on *dash* board.

   4> Car slides over bridge!
      Glad my underwear is clean.
      Oops!  I spoke too soon.

   3> Cut *me* off, you scum?
      Pass you on the right!  I win!!
      Morning, officer.

   2> Something just happened
      Between me and the leather.
      Please crack a window.

      and Topfive.com's Number 1 Driving Haiku...

   1> My toll-booth hottie
      Can't hear my smooth pickup lines
      Over the car horns.

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