[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

BOUNCE geeks@lists.shorty.com: Approval required:



Received: (qmail 22015 invoked from network); 1 Oct 1998 15:02:17 -0000
Received: from feeding.frenzy.com (mrbill@209.198.128.35)
  by itchy.shorty.com with SMTP; 1 Oct 1998 15:02:17 -0000
Received: (from mrbill@localhost)
	by feeding.frenzy.com (8.8.8/8.8.7) id KAA04153;
	Thu, 1 Oct 1998 10:02:17 -0500 (CDT)
Message-ID: <19981001100216.C3058@frenzy.com>
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1998 10:02:17 -0500
From: William Bradford <mrbill@frenzy.com>
To: geeks@shorty.com
Subject: [mrbill@feeding.frenzy.com: Fwd: When Post-Its Don't Cut It Anymore...]
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
X-Mailer: Mutt 0.91.1i

>From rec.humor.funny.reruns.  Its worth reading through. 8-)

Bill

Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns
From: gherbert@crl.com (George Herbert)
Subject: When Post-Its Don't Cut It Anymore...
Keywords: chuckle, long, originally appeared in third quarter, 1995
Approved: rhf-reruns@netfunny.com
Path:
  newshost.comco.com!news.altair.com!NewsNG.Chicago.Qual.Net!nyd.news.ans.net!newsfeeds.ans.net!news.idt.net!logbridge.uoregon.edu!newsfeed.direct.ca!news.netfunny.com!funny-request
Message-ID: <Sd00.564f@netfunny.com>
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1998 19:20:01 PDT
Lines: 617
Xref: newshost.comco.com rec.humor.funny.reruns:932


crl3 [2] finger ticket-2678@enoc.barrnet.net
Retrieving BARRNET Trouble Ticket 2678
Ticket Number: 2678                  Ticket Status:   closed    
Ticket Type:   unplanned             Ticket Source:   other     
Ticket Scope:  1site                 Site/Line:       barrnet                  
Ticket Owner:  cjw                   Problem Fixer:   everyone  
Telco Number:  cscdi35420  

Ticket Opened: 06/05/95  17:08       Problem Started: 05/17/95  00:00
       Closed: 06/13/95  14:53               Ended:   06/13/95  14:55

Close Code:    other          

Problem Description:
                It has been reported that BBN Planet Western Region is      
                out of Smarties.  Staff moral is at an all time low.  Most  
                local sources seem to be out of stock at this time.  The    
                situation could get critical if a new supply is not found.  


Note: 1         BARRNET Systems Group indicates that this issue needs to be 
06/05/95 17:36  escalated to BARRNET Field service.                         
tdias           The current BARRNET Field Service on-call person has been   
                paged with the following message,                           
                "BARRNET ticket 2678 - Smarties Situation Critical Please   
                contact CJW@BARRNET.NET"                                    


Note: 2         Cathy is obviously experiencing severe problems due to a    
06/05/95 17:39  glucose shortage as her spelling on the ticket open is      
jhickey         notably atrocious.                                          
                                                                            
                It is clear this Smarties shortage needs to be addressed at 
                the highest levels as quickly as possible.                  


Note: 3         This issue started on the 17th of May and was only reported 
06/05/95 18:19  on the 5th of June?                                         
tdias           CJW, should this issue be escalated to IE or to jrugo?      
                As it is a priority 4 and the the problem was only reported 
                on the 5th of June the NOC can only assume that this issue  
                isn't too urgent.  CJW, how's about we ship out a case of   
                Smarties the next time iserver.tc.barrnet.net needs to be   
                replaced?                                                   
                Regards - Tony Dias - BARRNET ops                           


Note: 4         Tony, the problem was only just brought to my attention this
06/05/95 18:29  afternoon.  No one   realized the consequences until it was 
cjw             too late.  Being new to the ticket system, I chose priority 
                4 because this is an internal (non customer) problem.       
                Perhaps I should upgrade it to a higher priority.  Note that
                the Ismaint group is shipping me a new iserver with a due   
                date of Wednesday at 10:30am.  Could relief be in sight?    
                Thanks for your support in this most trying of times        
                ---Cathy                                                    


Note: 5         Jeff Osborne of BARRNET Field service reponds that although 
06/05/95 20:19  Field Service provides many services, trying to "score" or  
tdias           i.e. dealing is not one of them.                            
                                                                            
                BBN Planet's Ismaint group responds that the new Iserver is 
                already hermetically sealed and can not be touched by anyone
                here until the customer receives it (so that we can say,    
                "Hey it worked when it left here."  So we won't be able to  
                include it with the new iserver.                            


Note: 6         WR Folks,                                                   
06/06/95 07:11  Have you tried Skittles as a substitute to Smarties as a    
tschlatter      workaround until the Smarties supply problem can be         
                addressed?                                                  


Note: 7         Skittles just won't do.  We have brought in chocolate dipped
06/06/95 10:07  strawberries as a substitute and that seems to be a good    
cjw             interim solution, but they're going fast.   We are hoping   
                that one of the many staff members searching the Bay Area   
                will come up with a new supplier.  It is disappointing that 
                FS will not assist since it is clear that some of them have 
                been seen with their hands in the Smarties orb getting their
                fix.   Some folks just won't admit their addiction publicly.
                Thanks for your continuing support  ---Cathy                


Note: 8         The lack of Smarties in the WR, has brought Planet HQ to    
06/06/95 15:03  the very  painful realization that there are no chocolate   
jbehrle         dipped strawberries in the fridge, on the east coast.  Like 
                a domino effect morale at HQ has started to crumble, if     
                it continues at this feverish pace the situation could      
                become critical!  Rumor has it that Bill Gates is closely   
                eyeing the situation, in hopes that Planet executive mgmt   
                will approach him and turn Planet's WR into the MicroSloth  
                Network running only NetBEUI, and DOS based apps.           


Note: 9         I think the all the regions can agree that if a supplier is 
06/06/95 15:49  found, equal portions should be guaranteed for each and     
kjc             every region for symmetric routing.  The integrity of the   
                chocolate supply here has degraded to the point where the   
                overall sucrose input has fallen drastically.  Sugar packets
                are being dropped left and right.  This definitely calls for
                escalation.                                                 


Note: 10        Due to the crisis forming at HQ, I did some investigation.  
06/06/95 16:01  It appears that it is not possible for Mackenzies to ship   
cjw             chocolate covered strawberries due to their perishable      
                nature.   The only option would be for the next WR person   
                to venture to HQ to act as a courier.  This is not a a      
                guarantee, however, because 5 hours on a plane could make   
                them not to tasty.  Mackenzies has other chocolate taste    
                delights that might serve as a substitute...                
                ---Cathy                                                    


Note: 11        Called and Spoke to Donna at the BJ's Wholesale Club in     
06/06/95 17:30  Medford, MA.  Asked Donna if they have any Smarties in stock
jbehrle         and she confirmed that they carry them in "5 Pound Value    
                Packs".  Asked Donna how many Smarties come in the "5 Pound 
                Value Pack", she reports that she doesn't know.  Requested  
                that she open the bag up and count them, as the future of   
                "the PlaNET" may depend on it, Donna hung up.               


Note: 12        Have secured 3 - "5 Pound Value Packs" of Smarties that will
06/06/95 18:30  be packaged up and sent to the WR in hopes of improving     
jbehrle         staff morale. Current ETA is Thursday, 8 June at the latest.
                                                                            
                06/07 09:47 PST:                                            
                      --- ETA is currently Friday, 9 June 1995 ---          


Note: 13        In repeated attempts to transmit Smartie packets via a Cisco
06/06/95 22:28  router, the packets are (quite literality) dropped on the   
jbehrle         floor without even a hint of an error.  Suspect there is a  
                bug in Cisco's IOS 10.2(6.1), preventing Smartie packets    
                from be passed through the router.  I believe a ticket      
                needs to be opened with Cisco on this issue.                


Note: 14        Regis Donovan of the Systems & Network Services Dept at     
06/07/95 07:31  FTP Software, Inc. in N. Andover, MA reports that she has   
jbehrle         duplicated the Cisco bug on 10.2(1) and several versions of 
                10.0, she suspects this problem may be common to all        
                versions of IOS.  After locating a 2.15 lb "orb of Smarties"
                in the FTP Development Dept, Regis estimates that 3 "5 pound
                value packs" would contain somewhere on the order of 1256   
                standard Smartie packets, and ~18,837 individual Smarties   
                which is approx the # of Internet nets in use in late 1993. 


Note: 15        Barbara Bellissimo from BBN Planet WR reports that it       
06/07/95 09:47  appears that they are out of immediate danager as a large   
jbehrle         quantity of Smarties appeared on her chair this morning.    
                3 - "5 Pound Value Packs" will be shipped out of HQ this    
                afternoon via FedEx Economy Service (air bill number will   
                following for tracking purposes).  It was decided that due  
                to the appearant Cisco bug, and multiple failed attempts    
                to use carrier pigeons (per RFC 1149). FedEx would be the   
                next logical step.                                          


Note: 16        FedEx Air Bill 272-9533-414 applies, this can be tracked via
06/07/95 14:40  the Web: http://www.fedex.com/cgi-bin/track_it              
jbehrle                                -or-                                 
                By sending email to "track@fedex.com" with                  
                "airbill 272-9533-414" in the body of the message.          
                                                                            
                It was picked up from HQ at 17:20 EST 06/07.                


Note: 17        Have begun to use a variety of fresh cannolis (riccota,     
06/07/95 14:46  vanilla and chocolate) as a substitute for chocolate covered
tschlatter      strawberries in the Planet HQ NOC.  We are considering      
                using these as a permanent replacement for the strawberries 
                as we have found a reliable year-round supplier and have    
                not been able to do so for the strawberries, and they       
                appear to be having the desired effect on corporate morale, 
                but are still waiting to evaluate the use of Mackenzies     
                chocolate covered strawberries before making a decision.    


Note: 18        Tony Li of CISCO thanks us for the notification of the      
06/07/95 14:58  problem with their software and has requested our assistance
kjc             in isolating this problem.  He has alerted their staff to   
                watch for supplies and are looking to their telecommuter    
                staff for hope, moving on to field support if that fails.   
                He has filed bugid CSCdi35420 on this problem and requests  
                that we enable "debug ip s" and send them the output.  He   
                would also like a copy of the appropriate packet generator  
                software for further help.  Note attached to ticket.        


Note: 19        Three 5 pound bags (one Godzillagram) of 15-bite packets    
06/07/95 15:24  have arrived at their first hop enroute to the Western      
kjc             Region.  They are in a wait state, holding at Medford, MA.  
                Further updates as they arrive.  Once the traceroute is     
                complete, we'll have a better idea of whether this is a     
                routing issue or a saturation/starvation (i.e. feast or     
                famine) problem.  The next step will be a determination of  
                how to be pro-active here, and prevent this issue from      
                happening again.                                            


Note: 20        Anke Dosedal of cisco systems believes that the bug is a    
06/07/95 15:57  serious problem.  He is submitting a purchase req. for      
cjw             at least one "orb" of Smarties for their lab in order to    
                try to reproduce this bug.  I replied offering to send them 
                a value pack in an effort to facilitate the debugging effort
                ---Cathy                                                    


Note: 21        I was just reminded that Anke is not a HIM, but  a HER.     
06/07/95 17:00  Terribly sorry Anke!  --- Cathy                             
cjw                                                                         


Note: 22        Anke (cisco) replies that one orb probably won't be         
06/08/95 06:31  sufficient for the testing purposes and believes the testing
kjc             lab might need two.  Jim Helvie heartily welcomes input from
                us to help reproduce the problem and further details that   
                the quantity of Smarties orbs required will of course depend
                upon the difficulty of debugging & then testing the fix.    
                For a bug that may affect the future of "the PlaNET" cisco  
                will want to do a lot of testing.                           


Note: 23        The Godzillagram of Smarties was picked up from Medford, MA 
06/08/95 08:32  at 17:20 on 06/07/95.                                       
kjc                                                                         
                Route thus far:                                             
                 o Left Origin Location MEDFORD MA 06/07 20:26              
                 o Pickup Exception MEDFORD MA 06/07 17:20                  


Note: 24        Bud Osterberg formarly of Quorum, now at Oracle sends this  
06/08/95 12:06  note, "Well, I just wanted you to know that I can sympathize
cjw             with your current situation.  I recall the agonizing days   
                when our coffee machine was in the ICU.  Just keep your     
                spirits up, sugar is on the way!  -- bud                    


Note: 25        Jim Lewinson of ISI suggests that the problem may be some   
06/08/95 12:59  sort of hardware problem, perhaps involving the cable or    
cjw             transciever manufacturer.                                   
                Has this been investigated as a possibility?                
                ---Cathy                                                    


Note: 26        The cables were in use before attempting to pass Smarties,  
06/08/95 13:07  working normally.  Post-testing period, cables continue to  
kjc             work flawlessly (after they were wiped off).  I'd be        
                inclined to believe this is a protocol issue rather than a  
                problem with the hardware.                                  


Note: 27        The 3 - "5 Pound Value Packs" of Smarties have "Left Hub    
06/08/95 16:03  INDIANAPOLIS IN" 3 times now:                               
jbehrle           o Package Left Hub INDIANAPOLIS IN 06/08 14:52            
                  o Package Left Hub INDIANAPOLIS IN 06/08 15:10            
                  o Package Left Hub INDIANAPOLIS IN 06/08 14:36            
                Suspect we've hit a routing loop, or were seeing packet     
                fragmentation...                                            


Note: 28        Concerned about a routing loop, or packet fragmentation, I  
06/08/95 16:35  called "1-800-Go-FedEx" and spoke to Connie.  Connie assured
jbehrle         me that the packet "is still in one piece", and that it was 
                probably handled by three different people in Indianapolis  
                and scanned by each of them.  Am still a bit suspicious of a
                possible routing-loop, but the NOC will continue to monitor.


Note: 29        Lisa DeBruine a College of Literature, Science, and the Arts
06/08/95 20:01  Student at the University of Michigan reports that in her   
jbehrle         experiences "chocolate covered strawberries are a better    
                substitute for Smarties than Smarties themselves", but she  
                agrees that they are "not as cost-effective".  I suspect she
                has never attempted to use carrier pigeons to transport 15lb
                of Smartie packets, which I should point out is not only    
                expensive, but real messy too. X.500 at Umich points out tha
                Lisa enjoys Kool-Aid "finger Lisa.M.De.Bruine@umich.edu".   


Note: 30        Nora Lundin from BBN WR admits that during the heat of the  
06/08/95 23:28  crisis she stumbled upon and purchased mini Sweet Tarts,    
jbehrle         disguised as Smarties (Same twisty wrapper, same shape and  
                size as Smarties).  She reports that "To my surprise, while 
                they only fooled people for a moment, they seemed to be an  
                adequate substitute, and a few have even commented that the 
                flavor was better than Smarties'".  Nora points out the it  
                is not clear if mini Sweet Tarts will ever permanently      
                replace Smarties, but they might do in a pinch...           


Note: 31        Elizabeth Kaufman of BBN Planet SP offers to help in any way
06/09/95 08:08  she can. She has extended the support of the entire SP      
dricci          development team.  She warns that SP is not currently       
                "Smarties-capable;" and reports that some have even claimed 
                it has no smarts at all.  They are working on a custom      
                Smarties-proxy, to be released Q1, Elizabeth expect to      
                announce "which fiscal year sometime in the next 10 weeks". 
                The proxy is expected to be fully TIS-compatible (so it     
                melts in your mouth, not in your Gauntlet).                 


Note: 32        The 3 - "5 Pound Value Packs" of Smarties appear to have    
06/09/95 09:47  cleared the routing-loop in INDIANAPOLIS, and have reached  
jbehrle         FedEx's MENLO PARK Hub.  We have high confidence that       
                successful deliverey is imminent!                           


Note: 33        It appears that we may have hit another routing loop:       
06/09/95 10:06    o Package on Van MENLO PARK CA 06/09 08:19                
jbehrle           o Package on Van MENLO PARK CA 06/09 06:48                


Note: 34        The 3 - "5 Pound Value Packs" of Smarties have successfully 
06/09/95 11:04  arrived in the WR.  Witnessed the rejoicing in the WR NOC   
jbehrle         via a BBN PicWin IP video conference!!!                     
                                                                            
                The "FedEx Airbill Tracking Information" is still reporting:
                "Package has not been Delivered!"???                        


Note: 35        This issue has demonstrated that the NOC at HQ does not have
06/09/95 11:18  adequate tools in place to monitor the "orb of Smarties"    
jbehrle         in BBN Planet WR.  If we had we could have prevented this   
                problem before it became critical!  Working with Len Rose   
                of BBN Planet WR to see if we can get a "SmartieCam"        
                setup on the Web for proactive monitor of the WR's          
                "orb of Smarties".                                          


Note: 36        Len Rose reports that "We will have the Smarties Real Time  
06/09/95 12:05  Monitor installed sometime later today.  The url will be    
jbehrle         http://www.netsys.com:/smarties.html (jpeg) In order to     
                monitor the orb, they will have to be relocated to my       
                office since we do not have a coax cable that will reach    
                their normal location."                                     


Note: 37        At this point we have seen over 1200 finger requests for    
06/09/95 12:21  this ticket. Requests are coming in at more that 100/hour.  
smiller                                                                     
                 Just a note to our viewers, this is only a test, if this   
                had been an actual emergency you would have been directed   
                to let BBN Planet manage your Internet Services. We promise 
                to work just as hard to get your IP packets to their        
                destination :^)                                             
                BBN Planet,"How Business does Business on the Internet!"    


Note: 38        Kobi from the BBN Planet SER NOC reports that they have     
06/09/95 13:44  uncovered a similar problem in College Park, MD.  Per Kobi: 
jbehrle         "In fact, it has been suggested that the problem is much    
                more serious; there is no record of the SER *ever* having a 
                cache of smarties".  Kobi hopes to avert a similar crisis in
                SER, she plans to obtain a "Sam's" card today so Smarties   
                should be available in bulk in the SER NOC shortly.  Kobi,  
                please keep us posted, as we can always try to fire up the  
                carrier pigeons for one more run...                         


Note: 39        Mark Moraes from D. E. Shaw & Co, has offered to assist in  
06/09/95 13:56  Smarties network testing on the Wellfleet router platform.  
jbehrle         Mark reports "We invariably use Gummi Bears to test our     
                New York-London link", as their systems person in London    
                "has this deep-seated addiction for candy".                 
                Mark,  We welcome your assistance, as we suspect this is an 
                internet-wide problem.  It appears that MCI BIPP opened TT# 
                3001 on this issue, but as it has been closed as this prob  
                is beleived to be at the protocol-layer.                    


Note: 40        Len Rose of the WR is pleased to announce that there is now 
06/09/95 14:10  a real time SmartieCam(sm) installed at:                    
dricci                  http://www.netsys.com/smarties.html                 
                                                                            
                This will enable real time monitoring of the Smarties       
                situation in the BBN Planet WR.                             


Note: 41        The "FedEx Airbill Tracking Information" finally confirms   
06/09/95 15:16  that the "Package has been Delivered!".  It reports the     
jbehrle         delivery time was 10:44 PST, and that it was signed for by  
                "K.NAYLOR" Kristin Naylor, our temp WR receptionist.        
                                                                            
                Some of us saw the rejoicing live over the Internet back    
                in note 34.  Suspect that FedEx will be out of business     
                if Cisco ever adds a 'Heisenberg Compensator' to their 7000 
                line ;-)                                                    


Note: 42        In ref to note 31, Bob Stratton from UUNET Security Services
06/09/95 17:14  extends the following cautionary note "Experimental         
jbehrle         transmissions of Skittles (the most similar traffic to      
                Smarties available at this site) through a TIS Gauntlet with
                the optional h/w encryption card appears to produce output  
                (on the red-net BNC connector) roughly similar to 'chocolate
                Magic Shell'."  It is unclear if this substance produces    
                serious throughput bottlenecks (on hardening).  Bob urges   
                the use of software crypto until this effect can be studied.


Note: 43        Cathy Wittbrodt called in to report the SmartiesCam(tm) is  
06/09/95 21:55  non-functional.  I have been able to confirm that we can    
kjc             reach http://www.netsys.com/cgibin/smarties from noc.bbn.com
                without a problem.  Recommend that Cathy check into her     
                local connectivity (she is at home).                        


Note: 44        It appears that the web browser on my laptop has some       
06/09/95 22:38  problems.  Sorry for the false alarm.   --- Cathy           
cjw                                                                         


Note: 45        To catch up on some important information that did not make 
06/10/95 00:00  it into the ticket, Peiter Zatko of the Internet Server     
kjc             group reports that "Front Door for Windows should have a    
                point-and-click interface for Smarties capabilities. The BBN
                IServer server side software already has this capability    
                [per secret code implemented by Dan Franklin]. Unfortunately
                the route for porting the smarties code implemented on the  
                Macintosh FrontDoor to the Windows frontdoor requires a 3rd 
                party library package which prevents the Windows programers 


Note: 46        ...from doing any Windows programming."                     
06/10/95 00:20                                                              
kjc                                                                         


Note: 47        John Rugo responded to Elizabeth Kaufman's Site Patrol issue
06/10/95 00:28  asking if the custom Smarties-proxy will include            
kjc             authentication with non-repudiation.  He further details,   
                "There are unconfirmed reports that a company in the east   
                bay has learned of the Smarties crisis and has been shipping
                product with the Smarties label but which are not the real  
                thing!"                                                     


Note: 48        Elizabeth Kaufman responds to John Rugo that he does in fact
06/10/95 00:31  raise a very complex set of security issues.  "The proposed 
kjc             proxy...relies on the accuracy and integrity of the data    
                label (i.e., if it looks like a Smartie and comes from the  
                Smartie-place, it's a Smartie).  I observe from Note 30 that
                this policy has already resulted in the mistaken consumption
                of "mini Sweet Tarts." Verifying content if we mistrust the 
                labels is technically complex- we could either go to a third
                party CA (Candy Authority) infrastructure, or we could...   


Note: 49        ...implement the sensory equivalent of checksumming, and    
06/10/95 00:33  implement a "taste signature" on each proxy server. Do you  
kjc             have a preference? (BTW, do you believe the current crisis  
                to be a natural shortage, or a deliberate Denial-of-Smarties
                attack?)"                                                   
                *                                                           
                Len Rose asserts that "WE MUST ASSURE that we are safe from 
                Smartie-Spoofing."                                          


Note: 50        I believe I can report from personal experience that using  
06/10/95 01:08  the sensory equivalent of checksumming in conjunction with a
kjc             taste signature will lead to a stomach ache unless the      
                implementation of Taste Buds works on a personnel rotation  
                basis (i.e. limiting individual consumption to a reasonable 
                number of packets where "reasonable" prevents nausea).      
                However, here we run into variability in accordance with    
                different people's ability to distinguish between Smarties, 
                Mini Sweet Tarts and other similar products.                


Note: 51        It has been suggested that CERT might want a heads-up on an 
06/10/95 08:01  issue of possibly large scale importance - namely reports of
kjc             Denial-of-Smarties attacks occuring throughout various      
                regions of the Internet from unknown sources.  Additionally,
                there have been reports of Smartie-Spoofing by cleverly     
                disguised "mini Sweet Tarts."  If true this issue could make
                the Morris Worm look like a benign geek prank.              


Note: 52        I think it would be in BBN PlaNET's best interest NOT to    
06/10/95 12:03  involve the CERT in this issue, as it is a contained        
tdias           problem and a CERT advisory concerning this issue would     
                only cause an Internet-wide panic, comparable to the SATAN  
                and IP-Spoofing advisories, i.e. the NOC would have a heck  
                of a time with all the Smarties Spoofing filters that would 
                have to be installed.                                       
                                                                            
                Also the CERT has no sense of humor, from past experiences. 


Note: 53        I received a call from Moira, from the CERT.  Someone, had  
06/10/95 12:40  mailed the CERT concerning this issue.  (KJC, naughty,      
tdias           naughty)  She wished to know, the impact of this issue, and 
                how we'd like the CERT to be involved, especially with the  
                Smarties Spoofing incidents that have occured.  She indicate
                d that the CERT will possibly create an notice concerning   
                this issue, on 06/12/95, or at least offer their services at
                that time.  Futher she indicated, that...                   
                *************        CONTINUED          ***********         


Note: 54        ******** continued from previous note ***************       
06/10/95 12:44  ... that the CERT does have M&M's technology and is aware   
tdias           of several issues involving them, but that their Smarties   
                experience is rather limited, in fact, Moira was the only   
                person, within the CERT NOC who was aware of Smarties,      
                because she's originaly from the UK, where Smarties are     
                plentiful and she had to inform other CERT NOC'ers of what  
                Smarties are.  Finally she indicated, through her patience &
                understanding that note 52 is wrong; the CERT has humor.    


Note: 55        Oh ya, I finally tasted a Smartie today.  The suckers are   
06/10/95 12:55  vile;  it was like licking the inside of a Kool-Aid packet  
tdias           or emptying out a whole Pixie stick on your tongue at once. 
                                                                            
                I would think that only a surplus of those toxic little     
                tablets would be something to be worried about and a        
                shortage of them would be something to rejoice.             
                                                                            
                Gummi Bears,btw, are much better. (Tony attempts a flamewar)


Note: 56        A minor flame war has ensued between BBN Planet's           
06/10/95 15:12  New England region (formerly NEARNET) and BBN Planet's      
tdias           Southeastern region (formerly SURANET)                      
                                                                            
                (Hey it was the only element missing from this saga.)       


Note: 57        The latest count of acessing the soon-to-be legendary       
06/10/95 17:44  "Smarties" ticket, stands at 1777 as of                     
tdias           Sat Jun 10 17:27:04 1995.  Here are some of the domains that
                have fingered us: (get your mind out of the gutter)         
                ucl.ac.uk, cisco.com, ludd.luth.se, dec.com, mit.edu,       
                netcom.com, world.std.com, ftp.com, cnri.reston.va.us,      
                convex.com, evtech.com, rutgers.edu, umd.edu, uunet.ca,     
                uiuc.edu, marble.com, ora.com, toronto.edu, qualcomm.com    
                ************     CONTINUED       ****************           


Note: 58        Think.COM, bellcore.com, buffalo.edu, nasa.gov,             
06/10/95 17:52  kochi-u.ac.jp, liero.cc.lut.fi, swissbank.com,              
tdias           nyu.edu, anu.edu.au, apple.com, cern.ch, umich.edu.         
                interpath.net, realtime.net, columbia.edu, wais.com,        
                and osf.org                                                 


Note: 59        Try not to pay too much attention to the rants and raves    
06/12/95 09:33  of Tony Dias (tdias) in notes 52-58 as it has come to our   
jbehrle         attention that Tony was suffering from a sugar rush         
                overload, at the time...                                    


Note: 60        Nora Lundin from the WR will be send a supply of the        
06/12/95 09:35  cleverly disguised "mini Sweet Tarts" to the HQ and SER     
jbehrle         NOC's for additional Smartie-Spoofing testing.              


Note: 61        On Wed, 07 Jun 1995 at 14:53:22 Cisco released the "Cisco   
06/12/95 09:37  Smarties Advisory" (CSCdi35420) warning of a vulnerability  
jbehrle         in Cisco's IOS software when the 'smarties' keyword is used 
                in extended foodstuff access control lists.  It warns that: 
                "This bug can, under very specific circumstances and only   
                with certain consumption units, allow unauthorized sugar    
                products that resemble Smarties such as 'Skittles' and      
                'M&Ms' to circumvent a filtering router".                   


Note: 62        Massachusetts local Security Contractor Hobbit reports that 
06/13/95 07:22  a temporary solution to Smarties leakage may be in the form 
kjc             of a new package from Italy called SPREE, currently in beta 
                testing.  It can wrap traffic inside DES, 3DES or IDEA sugar
                coating, using color-coded Drakes-Hershey key exchange at   
                the beginning of the session.  He notes that while the      
                resulting SPREE-encapsulated packets are theoretically 2^63 
                times harder to crack open than UUNet's Skittles, they are  
                big & hard & difficult to push through the ST connectors... 


Note: 63        ...on some network hubs.  One of the beta testers has       
06/13/95 07:25  suggested possible lozenge deformation in rare cases where  
kjc             transmission media are run close to hot steam pips as on    
                larger college campuses.  This problem has not yet been     
                thoroughly reviewed by the candographic community at large, 
                but alert users will quickly become aware of the problem if 
                their arriving SPREEs start appearing gummi.                


Note: 64         All of us in Western Region have gotten back to our normal 
06/13/95 14:49  sugar high.  It is good to know that there is such a spirit 
cjw             of cooperation out there.  Thanks to everyone for your ideas
                and support.  We will continue to monitor the Smarties bugs 
                filed with various vendors and will keep the community      
                up to date on the status.  ---Cathy                         

Problem Solution:
                We will continue to monitor the Smarties bugs filed with    
                various vendors and will keep the community up to date on   
                the status.                                                 


--
>>From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and
Jim Griffith.  This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup
rec.humor.funny.

Web users, you can read a random joke from the archives just by bookmarking 
	http://www.netfunny.com/cgi-bin/randomurl/rhf/jokes/masterlist

-- 
Bill Bradford * mrbill@frenzy.com
-------------------------------------------
"One World, One Web, One Program" - Microsoft Promotional Ad
"Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer" - Adolf Hitler