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GEEKS: The REAL Empire Strikes Back..
Date: Thu, 07 Oct 1999 20:31:29 -0600
From: Eric Schwartz <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: The REAL Empire Strikes Back
>From: email@example.com firstname.lastname@example.org
>Date: Sat, 2 Oct 1999 14:12:14 Wed, 6 Oct 1999 11:54:45
> We just got the inside scoop on the extra scene included in the
>upcoming DVD release of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! It expands on the
>scene where Darth Vader reveals his fatherhood to Luke, and ties up
>some "loose ends" created with the release of The Phantom Menace...
>The Empire Strikes Back: Revised Scene
>INT: CLOUD CITY, BESPIN GANTRY
>A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE
>SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick Errol Flynn move
>by Vader, and Luke's hand goes spinning off into the ventilation
>shaft! Luke cries out, holding his stub arm. He backs away, looks
>around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.
>Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.
>Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
>Vader: No... I am your father!
>Luke: No!!! I's not true! It's impossible.
>Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true...
>Luke: (in tears) NOOOOOO!
>Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know
> that brass droid of yours?
>Vader: Yes, Threepio. I built him - when I was 7 years old.
>Luke: No wonder he's such a pain in the ass!
>Vader: Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at
> yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate
> your own ship out of the swamp...
>Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!
>Vader: When you were, what, 20! When I was 10, I single-
> handedly destroyed a shielded Trade Federation Droid
> Control ship ...with a lucky shot!
>Luke: Well, I used to bulls-eye womp rats in my T-16 racing
> through Beggar's Canyon...
>Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor! Ten years old, winner
> of the Boonta Eve Open, only human to ever fly a Pod
> Racer... Right here, baby!
>Luke: (looking dejected) But, but, it's not my fault...
>Vader: Oh! Here we go... (whining) "Poor me! My father never
> gave me what I wanted for my birthday... Boo-Hoo... My
> daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... Waahhh! Waahhh!"
>Luke: (stammering) Shut up! Shut UP!!!
>Vader: You're a slacker! You think *I* had a Dad there for
> *me*? Ha! *I* was conceived by the mitochondrians and
> raised by my mother in slavery! But by the time I was
> your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!
>Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.
>Vader: I was wrong... You know what - you're not my kid! You're
> not good enough to be my kid!
>Luke, in tears, takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then
>plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks after him...
>Vader: And get a haircut! (Pfffft!)
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