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GEEKS: The REAL Empire Strikes Back..

Message-Id: <>
Date: Thu, 07 Oct 1999 20:31:29 -0600
To: geeks@shorty.com
From: Eric Schwartz <emschwar@rmi.net>
Subject: The REAL Empire Strikes Back

>From: kwarner@ussdkarate.com      mweintr@falstaff.net
>Date: Sat, 2 Oct 1999 14:12:14    Wed, 6 Oct 1999 11:54:45
>  We just got the inside scoop on the extra scene included in the 
>upcoming DVD release of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK!  It expands on the
>scene where Darth Vader reveals his fatherhood to Luke, and ties up 
>some "loose ends" created with the release of The Phantom Menace... 
>The Empire Strikes Back: Revised Scene 
>A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE 
>SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry.  A quick Errol Flynn move 
>by Vader, and Luke's hand goes spinning off into the ventilation
>shaft!  Luke cries out, holding his stub arm.  He backs away, looks 
>around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight  down.
>Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father. 
>Luke:  He told me enough!  He told me you killed him! 
>Vader: No... I am your father!
>Luke:  No!!!  I's not true!  It's impossible. 
>Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true... 
>Luke:  (in tears)  NOOOOOO!
>Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else?  You know 
>       that brass droid of yours?
>Luke:  Threepio?
>Vader: Yes, Threepio.  I built him - when I was 7 years old. 
>Luke:  No wonder he's such a pain in the ass! 
>Vader: Seven years old!  And what have you done?  Look at
>       yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate 
>       your own ship out of the swamp...
>Luke:  I destroyed your precious Death Star! 
>Vader: When you were, what, 20!  When I was 10, I single-
>       handedly destroyed a shielded Trade Federation Droid 
>       Control ship ...with a lucky shot!
>Luke:  Well, I used to bulls-eye womp rats in my T-16 racing 
>       through Beggar's Canyon...
>Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor!  Ten years old, winner 
>       of the Boonta Eve Open, only human to ever fly a Pod
>       Racer...  Right here, baby! 
>Luke:  (looking dejected) But, but, it's not my fault... 
>Vader: Oh!  Here we go... (whining) "Poor me! My father never 
>       gave me what I wanted for my birthday...  Boo-Hoo... My 
>       daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... Waahhh! Waahhh!"
>Luke:  (stammering)  Shut up!  Shut UP!!! 
>Vader: You're a slacker!  You think *I* had a Dad there for
>       *me*?  Ha!  *I* was conceived by the mitochondrians and 
>       raised by my mother in slavery!  But by the time I was 
>       your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!
>Luke looks down the shaft.  Takes a step towards it. 
>Vader: I was wrong... You know what - you're not my kid!  You're 
>       not good enough to be my kid!
>Luke, in tears, takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then 
>plunges down the shaft.  Darth Vader looks after him...
>Vader: And get a haircut! (Pfffft!)

Robbie Honerkamp
robbie@shorty.com   http://www.shorty.com/~robbie/
 "Blocking email? What is that? Some kind of new un-American, 
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