[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

You might be an engineer...



    You might be an engineer if:
         
         *     The only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
         *     You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and 
         vertical lines.
         *     You order pizza over the Internet and pay for it through your 
         home banking software.
         *     A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the 
         antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception.
         *     All your sentences begin with "what if".
         *     At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to 
         find the burnt-out bulb in the string.
         *     Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to 
         upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.
         *     Dilbert is your hero.
         *     Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the 
         scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.
         *     In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure.
         *     On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the 
         pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel.
         *     People groan at the party when you pick out the music.
         *     The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor 
         beam to fix it.
         *     The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your 
         questions.
          *     The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never 
         enters your mind.
         *     When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a 
         salesperson talking with customers and you butt in to correct him and 
         spend next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while 
         the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.
         *     You are able to argue persuasively that Ross Perot's phrase 
         "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information 
         superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses 
         hand-drawn pie charts.
         *     You are always late to meetings.
         *     You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are 
         falling.
         *     You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing 
         games, but are afraid to say so out loud.
         *     You are convinced you can build a phazer from your garage door 
         opener and your camera's flash attachment.
         *     You are currently gathering the components to build your own 
         nuclear reactor.
         *     You are next in line on death row in a French prison and you 
         find that the guillotine is not working properly so you offer to fix 
         it.
         *     You are still drinking Mr. Pibb.
         *     You are wine tasting and find yourself paying more attention to 
         the cork screws than the '84 Chardonnay.
         *     You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday.
         *     You bought your wife's valentine gift at orchard supply.
         *     You can name at least six Star Trek episodes.
         *     You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
         *     You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own 
         handwriting.
         *     You can understand anything Al Gore says.
         *     You can't fit any more colored pens in your shirt pocket.
         *     You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time 
         this week.
         *     You carry a list for everything except the groceries.
         *     You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a 
         test that actually takes five minutes to run.
         *     You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and 
         parallel.
         *     You disdain people who use low baud rates.
         *     You do Darth Vader or Battlestar Galactica impersonations by 
         talking into a spinning fan.
         *     You drive a gremlin with a "Beam me up Scotty" bumper sticker.
         *     You ever burned down the gymnasium with your science fair 
         project.
         *     You ever forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months.
         *     You find yourself at the airport on your vacation studying the 
         baggage handling equipment.
         *     You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the 
         chairs to see how they do the special effects.
         *     You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
         *     You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster 
         you own turns bread into charcoal.
         *     You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they 
         work.
         *     You have ever debated who was a better captain: Kirk or Picard.
         *     You have ever owned a calculator with no equals key and know 
         what RPN stands for.
         *     You have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is".
         *     You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
         *     You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's 
         inside.
         *     You have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
         *     You have memorized the Discovery Channel program schedule but 
         have seen most of the shows already.
         *     You have modified your can opener to be microprocessor driven.
         *     You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
         *     You have never backed up your hard drive.
         *     You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself 
         since you got married.
         *     You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other 
         than hanging coats and taping ducts.
         *     You introduce your wife/husband as "mylady@home.wife/husband".
         *     You just don't have the heart to throw away the 100-in-1 
         electronics kit you got for your ninth birthday.
         *     You know how to take the cover off your computer, and what size 
         screwdriver to use.
         *     You know the altitude limits for turning on and off electronic 
         equipment on commercial flights.
         *     You know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
         *     You know what http:// stands for.
         *     You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' 
         toys.
         *     You need a checklist to turn on the TV.
         *     You own "Official Star Trek" anything.
         *     You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
         *     You rearrange the dishwasher to maximize the packing factor.
         *     You remember half a dozen passwords and your ten-digit 
         Compuserve address, but you have to call your niece "kiddo".
         *     You rooted for HAL, the computer in 2001: A Space Odyssey.
         *     You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your 
         automobile tires.
         *     You see a good design and still have to change it.
         *     You spend more time on your home computer than in your car.
         *     You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
         *     You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
         *     You talk about the high resolution and picture-in-picture 
         capability of your big screen TV while everybody is watching the 
         Superbowl.
         *     You talk about trellis code modulation at parties.
         *     You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory.
         *     You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you 
         forget to send your father a birthday card.
         *     You think Sales and Marketing are Satan's children.
         *     You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they 
         didn't get enough sleep.
         *     You think your computer looks better without the cover.
         *     You thought the contraption ET used to phone home was stupid.
         *     You thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission 
         controllers.
         *     You use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car.
         *     You walk around with your hands in your two front pockets 99% of 
         the time.
         *     You want a 24X CD ROM for Christmas.
         *     You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa).
         *     You window shop at Radio Shack.
         *     You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
         *     You've already calculated how much you make per second.
         *     You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.
         *     Your four basic food groups are: 1) Caffeine, 2) Fat, 3) Sugar, 
         4) Chocolate.
         *     Your checkbook always balances.
         *     Your dress clothes come from Sears.
         *     Your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color 
         TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you 
         grew up thinking that was normal.
         *     Your favorite actor is R2D2.
         *     Your favorite character on Gilligan's Island was "The 
         Professor".
         *     Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the 
         gadgets.
         *     Your favorite place in San Francisco is the Exploratorium.
         *     Your favorite television show is New Yankee Workshop.
         *     Your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her.
         *     Your idea of a "good read" is the Edmund Scientific catalog.
         *     Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the 
         decimal point in the right place.
         *     Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the 
         latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
         *     Your Internet bill is higher than your long distance charges.
         *     Your IQ is a higher number than your weight.
         *     Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
         *     Your spouse sends you an email instead of calling you to dinner. 
         *     Your three-year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to 
         explain atmospheric absorption theory.
         *     Your wardrobe looks like you shop at Goodwill Industries.
         *     Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work.
         *     Your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre.
         *     Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300Mhz Pentium. 
         *     Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.
    
    

--
tg (The George)  	[floyd code v1.2a r+d>s TW 6/0/@ tG 0- 0 P* 2 0]
  //  Life is like a game of cards.		||    Black holes...    \\
 //  The hand that you get is your destiny;	||    are where God      \\
//  the way you play it is your free will.	||    divided by zero!    \\